A mothers dream is to enjoy the fruits of her labor, to know that her children are happy, confident, and kind to all. There are many detours and roadblocks along the way, but you can overcome them using these four tips to obtain and maintain a relationship with your children that will last a lifetime!. A strong foundation provides the anchors to face any storms. It’s never too late to begin. With each new day comes renewal, forgiveness, and a positive step towards building once again. Here you have the most important four Tips to Build a Lifelong Relationship with Your Children.
4 Tips to Build a Lifelong Relationship with Your Children.
Tip #1 Trust is crucial to Build a Lifelong Relationship with Your Children.
Without trust, any relationship doesn’t stand a chance! Trust often is confused as a given. A God given right! As a loving mother, your children has to learn to trust YOU. They has to know that, you keep your promises, and they can rely on you. Your children also needs to know that your love is unconditional, and that regardless of their doings, you’ll be there for them. They might get yelled at, get mad at you, but they need to TRUST you above all. Realize that, You have earned their trust through your word, credibility, and actions.
There are five steps to establishing trust between a mother and her children. Each one is equally important and well guarded. They include: Honesty; Awareness; Persistency; Consequence; and finally, Privilege. Knowing each of them and how to apply these steps to a working relationship is key in maintaining a loving relationship.
Tip #2 Open Communication.
When our children are born, we seem so in tuned to their needs. We learn the difference between a hungry cry and a mad cry. We can sense the slight mood change and worry for hours that there is a cold coming on. As our little child grows, we teach them to talk. We repeat sounds and clap for joy when they say ball and Mama. We pay close attention to all of their needs and kiss them softly and quietly goodnight. But Just because we teach language, an ensemble of sounds doesn’t mean that we are teaching communication.
Communication as defined by Webster is: an act of transmitting or an exchange of information or opinions. Think about this, an act of transmitting which can mean giving orders, commands, and/or instructions. This of course is necessary at times. It means we mean what we say and do it! No questions, no discussion. This form of communication is certainly acceptable and appropriate at times. Taking the other side of the definition, an exchange of information we understand this to be a form of exploring another’s opinion, thoughts, and logic. This too is very important. As a matter of fact, this is the foundation of effective communication involving two people.
When does it start? As our children learn their words at the age of 2, they also begin to learn communication skills. These skills are mostly taught by our physical reactions, not precisely by our verbal capabilities.
Physical reactions involve the delivery of our words, the tone of our voices, and the actions of our body. It is not about getting through its about logical reasoning and openness to understanding another human being. Since your children has already achieved a level of trust in you, they will embrace your skills of communication if delivered in a manner that support their best interests, without threatening their own desires. YOU, as the parent, are in control at all times. You just need the right tools that will help you educate your children. With these tools and exercises, you are able to begin to lay the strong foundation of open-minded, free exchange of information without losing your position of authority. Remember communication can be a two way street or a single command. Your choice, your control.
Tip #3 Effective Listening to Build a Lifelong Relationship with Your Children.
Now that we have defined communication, I urge you to don’t spend too much time talking. Teach by actions as well! How? Its easy (once you understand how). Spend a lot of time listening!!! Effective listening provides an avenue showing insight into your children’s life.
There is so much you can learn by listening and observing. Listening not only involves what your child speak, it involves what others says too. This includes their friends, teachers, and anyone they might have contact with on the daily basis. I’m not suggesting you spy. Just listen, and believe me, you’ll learn more than you can imagine. Listening is a skill. Creating environments of opportunity is what you want to do. For example: Car pools are uncomfortable, but when you pick up a bunch of your child’s friends, keep the music low, don’t talk just listen to them! They will open their chatter and you’ll be able to interpret, not only the quality of their friendships, but the collective views of the group.
This can be very valuable in future conversations you may have with your child. Its also a great way to get to know their friends! Subtle suggestions from your side will have a better impact if you are more informed, remember what you learned regarding communication Since your children has already achieved a level of trust in you, they will embrace your skills of communication if delivered in a manner that support their best interests without threatening their desires. You, as the parent, are in control at all times.
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Tip #4 Letting Go.
Letting go is the ongoing process we all deal with. When, how, just enough, not too much. Knowing when to allow your child to find his way and knowing when to hold his hand and guide him. There will be times when your heart breaks for them, when you want to take their pain, their place, their path, but the same lessons we’ve learned, so too shall they. We realize we can’t (and should not) always shield our children from everything. If you think about it, looking back on our own life some of the most painful situations taught us the most powerful life lessons. Whether that was empathy and compassion for others, or our ability to forgive and move on; whatever crisis we face we have a choice we can choose to be bitter or better. It’s always a choice.
In being there for your children, while letting go you provide the strength they need to stand on their own. Through pain we grow and through growth we become whole. Sometimes there are no words, sometimes silence and solidarity speak louder than any great speech. If you have built upon the three previous tips, letting go will be a natural process of love. There is no fear where love dwells. Your goal is accomplished you have the strong foundation for a lifelong, healthy relationship with your child.
Being there involves just that being there as a friend, a parent, a role model, a mother. Learning today how to build and enjoy a mother/child relationship is the best gift you will ever give to both yourself and your children. This is a gift that can be passed down from generation to generation, building stronger and deeper each time.
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Final thoughts about Tips to Build a Lifelong Relationship with Your Children.
Your most important goal as a parent is not to make your children happy on a short-term basis. It is to raise capable and responsible human beings. There are many times when your children will be unhappy with your decisions and that’s OK. To build a lifelong relationship with your children you must lead by example, you must be open and available to them, you must be able to guide and love unconditionally, until the day they don’t need you anymore, and I am pretty sure that day will probably never comes.
I hope this article inspires you to start to build a Lifelong Relationship with Your Children today. Feel free to share your thoughts and share the post to other mommies. I’ll see you next time.
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Zadi, xo.
Hello my friend; I hope that you are your family are doing alright and will continue to be blessed throughout 2021, and it’s super good to see you and to see your first post of the year haha.
These are hugely valuable tips, especially the points about listening and learning when to let go of things. These are very strong principles for the health of the relationship and the development of the childrean because they may also learn these powerful values from the examples of parents and be instilled with very robust social-skills from when they are young which are the most significant years of their lives when it comes to learning and what they are exposed to. It is really really cool that you thought of this topic Zadi; working on the long-term relationship with your kids is just as important, or even more important, as their physical wellbeing and health.
Indeed. Having a 16 year old boy makes see every day day having a good and robust relationship with your kids is crucial to lead them through the right path. I am glad you enjoy this post and learn something from it.
I couldn’t agree more Zadi. The love and care you have for your own child should be worth more to them than anything and I am very happy that you have a robust, strong, and healthy relationship with your matured 16 year old son; that is beautiful and truly a blessing.
Indeed
Yes my friend, you all be safe and have a great week Zadi <3
Insightful and brilliant, thanks.
Thank you so much Mary, I am glad you think so.