Having a healthy relationship with your partner is not an easy task, love is a commitment to choose every day the same person. After 25 years of marriage, 2 kids, and multiple ups and downs, I have good tips that I want to share with you. So in this post, I’ll give you those tips to keep your marriage strong, before and after kids. Are you ready? Let’s begin.
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Interestingly, it does take years of passion, love, and intimacy to get to the point where a couple is so comfortable with each other that they finish each other’s sentences and depend on each other. Want to know a secret? Studies say that couples like these have an even better sex life in their marital futures than the ones with all the passion at the start then burn out later on.
Why? Because these savvy couples don’t let up on keeping the intimacy, passion, and spice in their marriages. They’ve built it up through the years to what we can call as a marriage ‘art form.’
How can you learn these spicy tips to keep the love in your marriage? Here are some of them!
1. Prioritize each other.
This is the mother of all tips. Successful old marrieds have come to realize that above all relationships, each one has in their lives ‘ even kids, own parents, siblings, co-workers, best buds ‘ a couple has to prioritize their marriage.
Why? Ultimately, it will be just the two of you going through life together, and you made the promise to do so. People fail to realize that your spouse is your first and foremost priority! They allow their marriages to get caught in between squabbling kids, family politics, and even work obligations. Big no-no.
Your spouse has to know that he or she can trust on you to do what’s best for the relationship and vice versa, that he or she is your best friend and will never let you down. When you work as a team, you face the obligations you have towards others as a team.
2. Don’t give up dating with each other!
The humdrum of life, kids, and laundry can take away time for each other. Don’t allow it! If you’re the spontaneous type, rethink your understanding because you do have to set a date to date your spouse ‘ and keep it regular!
You can even take turns planning surprise dates. They don’t have to be grand. They just have to be time off to feed number one above. And, don’t forget, the same way you are creative in dating your spouse, learn to be creative in the bedroom!
3. Fight fair, laugh always.
You might think the elements in this tip are not related, but they absolutely are! It’s all a matter of attitude. How do you see fighting or arguing in your relationship? How do you see the humor? If you can inject both with a positive approach always, then you realize that it all comes from the inside.
Learn how to fight constructively with the correct communication tools. And don’t take fighting too seriously. Laugh with your spouse at your annoying little fights. See them both as essential to your marriage.
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4. Talk, discuss, agree to disagree!
As a couple, it’s better if you share a majority of your beliefs and perspectives about life. But, even if you don’t, talking, discussing, and bantering are essential in keeping the spice in your marriage. You can also agree to disagree, and that’s that! The more you talk, the more you get to know what your spouse is thinking and feeling. The more you get to know the real person behind the words.
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Final thoughts about the Tips keep the love in your marriage after kids.
We are very quick to judge that we no longer love someone just because the feelings fade. With proper understanding, we can expect that even if the feeling may not be there, it doesn’t mean we don’t love the other person. In truth, love is a commitment. It is not just a feeling; it is a doing thing. A mature person loves by choice and not merely by circumstance.
It is a fact that having children changes everything in your life, including your relationship. And as any parent knows, stress and sleeplessness can extend beyond the newborn phase and put strain on a marriage.
As you can see in this post, there are little things you can do to keep the love in your marriage, before and after kids for many years to come. Keeping your marriage strong should be a priority.
I hope I inspired you today to rekindle your marriage. Your kids are going to be grateful for it. Feel free to comment below. I’ll see you next time.
Zadi, xo.
This was touching lol. Exemplary advice as usual my friend; It is a wonderful reminder to see how little things can mean the most and yet make such a big difference.
I am glad I read your content today and I also wish you a very sweet, blessed and happy mothers day to the fullest lol
Thank you so much dear!!
hahaa anytime Zadi <3
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