Parenting a teenage boy. Positive parenting advice.

 

As a mother of two boys, I often question my parenting skills. Males have a completely different nature than us, women. And as a mother you will have the difficult task of mediating and teaching your boys to love, respect and feel identified with women. As a woman, I always considered myself a feminist, and although I wish very much for the blessing of having a daughter. Well, God had other plans for me. In my opinion, there are so many men in the world today who needs to be corrected, that I feel even flattered to be part of creating good men, who love and respect their families and all the women in their life’s. In this article I am going to give you important tips for parenting a teenage boy, while building and maintaining a good relationship with him. Ready? Let’s begin.

Tips for parenting a teenage boy.

1. Open Door to communication.

It is not about making an interrogation, but instead, being interested in what is going on their lives. You can start by sharing how your day went and ask him how was his?. You will be able to be more aware of their problems, their fears, their joys or frustrations. And very important, pay attention to details. Example: my son has just started high school, and the AP world history class is giving him difficulties. How do I know? Well, although he didn’t want to tell me, to avoid worrying me. I just had to look at his face once, to realize that something was not right. Thank God, and to our help, things are improving now. And remember, despite the occasional lack of communication, teenage boys can engage in detailed communication in a topic of interest for them. Pay attention and don’t ignore them when they open up, otherwise you will lose credibility on their eyes.

2. Every parent has a role on your teens life.

From moms: From mothers, sons learn empathy, discipline, respect, love and kindness. You will be the first love of his life, and also his female prototype. What he sees in you, will be, what he will probably look in a woman when he grows up.

From dads: The father and son relationship is also very important for teen boys, from the dad the son will learn to have character, strength, responsibility, to be a good provider, to protect his family, to be the guiding person.

Teen boys need more physical activity than girls. For teen boys participation in a sport or other physical activity will let them expend testosterone and socialize. Boys like to be competitive and physically challenged, that is a major part of their development. if you are a father it will be beneficial to do outdoor activities such as playing a sport, fishing, riding a bicycle, etc. These activities will create opportunities to talk to them in a more casual, informal and non-threatening way about spiritual, moral or other issues.

3. Be patient when parenting a teenage boy. 

One of the things that I struggle the most, is to increase and maintain my patience, especially when it comes to school related things. But certainly, achieving results does not happen in days or sometimes even months. In this case patience will be your best ally.

All the things you forbid or try to teach your teenage boys have logical reasoning behind. Then use that reasoning to explain them. And let them understand why they need to listen to you and create their own conclusion.

4. Pay attention to detail to praise your teen boys often.

This point can be very difficult, especially when you are trying to discipline, correct or teach something. However, you will not get very far if you only criticize and don’t praise your teen boy regularly. When parenting a teenage boy is very important to identify the areas in which he is doing well and encourage him for that. The ideal is probably at least two or three praises for every criticism you do.

5. Be aware, they are on the experimental stage, and that can lead to risky behaviors.

Teen boys are transitioning from childhood to adulthood and so there are many things they don’t know, but they need to learn for their future, I always speak clearly with my teen boy about important issues, such as couple relationships, work, parenting, finances and even drugs or alcohol.

Teach them about cause and consequences, and perhaps you are more likely to keep your boy out of trouble. Sharing family values with your teenage boy and talk about what you believe is right and wrong will increase the chance that he will act responsibly when the time comes. Remember although you might think they don’t listen to you, the truth is that, they do listen and learn by example.

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6. Keep real expectations.

First of all, you must know your son to keep expectations real. Not all teen boys likes the same things, or have the same aspirations or dreams. While sport is better for some, school may be more important for others, or simply none of the 2. Encourage in your boys the things you see they are good at, never losing sight of their interests and what they like.

7. Set clear rules and boundaries to your teenage boy.

Each family is different. The most important rules for us, are those that have to do with, finding the balance between the time my child spends on the computer playing versus resting time or the time he spends with the family. In my house, my husband and I have very different parenting styles, while I allow extended hours of play as long as school is good, my husband still prefers fewer hours of games. Either way, your children must follow the rules, and they must prioritize the important things first, in order to have privileges. Again, communication is crucial. Keep in mind, your teen boys needs rest time, social time and family time. All of them are equally important for proper development.

8. Open doors to his friends.

Make an effort if you can, to know your child’s friends and their parents. Communication between parents will create a safe environment for the teenagers. Parents can help each other out on keeping track of their activities, without making the teens feel like little children. Those friends are also going to teach you more about your teens surrounding environment. and it will allow you to red-flag your child if you have any concerns about those friends or their parents.

9. Leeway for teenage boy.

Yes, giving your teenage boy freedom of action, and a little independence, is also very important. Your teen are still growing up, therefore they still need to find their own identity, this independence is essential to helping them establish their own place in the world. However, never lose sight of the essential, and take care of them from the outside.

10. Put yourself in their shoes when parenting a teenage boy.

Let’s be honest, you were there once, the age of adolescence is complicated. You are not treated like a child, but also not as an adult. Your opinions count only under certain circumstances, and as everyone else, you also has fears, frustrations, joys etc. Well, that’s what your teen boy is going thru. They are going to see the situation differently from you. Get their perspective before things gets out of control. Let your teenage boy know that you trust him until he proves otherwise. If the trust gets broken, make sure he understands that he will be allowed fewer freedoms until he earns the trust back.

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Conclusion:

The big take away of this article is that, teenage years are between 13 and 19 years old. As a parent, you survived an infant screaming through the night, the terrible twos, potty training, kindergarten, and another seven years of typical childhood trials and tribulations. Raising a teenager might seem like a setback for your previous parenting skills. But instead, is more like a test to your adult training skills. Your teenage boy should not be treated as a child anymore. Instead, try to become his mentor to adulthood.

And finally. Remember, for parenting a teenage boy, you must Listen to him, they need to be treated firmly, but also with respect and love, and more importantly, let your teen boy know clearly, that you will always be there for him under any circumstances, after all, you are, and always will be, his first true love.

If you like this post, please share it to other mommies, and thanks for reading it.

Zadi, XO.