How to help your young boy to adjust to a new baby.

 

Expecting a second, or a third baby? worry about jealousy? Don’t worry because In this post, I am going to give you important tips on How to help your young boy to adjust to a new baby. These tips allowed me to get my oldest son to stop giving me tantrums and begin to cooperate. These tips are going to be useful for girls as well.

I will like to start by saying that, the preparation of the older brother or sister during the period of pregnancy is very important. Although it will not completely avoid some jealousy when the baby is born, at least it will allow you to avoid unnecessary resentments. Ready? Let’s begin.

How to help your young boy to adjust to a new baby.

Among the things you can do during pregnancy to prepare your boy are:

Include him in every step right from the beginning: When the time is appropriate, and you decide to tell everyone about the arrival of a new baby, your child should be the first to know. After all, everyone’s life will change, but he will do much more. Remember that until today, he was the only one, and feeling displaced is a normal feeling that children suffer at this time. Besides, your visits to the doctor are more enjoyable if you are accompanied by your boy. Share as much time as you can with him. And let him know that his support and company is very important to you and that your love will always be enough for everyone.

Read books to him to get him ready and excited: On of my favorite methods, read to your boy as many books as you can find about his new role as the oldest sibling. Keep in mind that this is the perfect time to instill in your child empathy, love, understanding and support etc. Also teach your boy in a way he understand that the needs of a new baby are different, and there are ways he can be helpful to you or another care giver.

Prepare in advance if you can for the postpartum time: This is crucial. I was not completely prepared for what was coming in the postpartum period. I underestimated how important this point is. When you get prepared, you’ll be able to spend more time with your children. Fostering a connection between you and your baby, and between them as siblings.

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Tips on how to help your young boy to adjust to a new baby after birth.

1. The day of delivery.

The long-awaited moment has arrived, you are about to go to the hospital to have your baby. Take a moment, don’t forget to tell your child that you love him, that you are not abandoning him. Explain in a way that he can understand, always going down to his level of what is going on. Reaffirm that everything will be fine, and that very soon there will be another little person to love and care in the family.

2. Make that first meeting special and memorable.

When your boy comes to the hospital to see you after 2 or 3 days, try to make it very special. Keep your arms empty for the first moment he sees you, so he feels that those arms are still there for him. Your first reaction toward your older boy should be loving and caring, and bringing the attention to the baby should be in a gentle way.

3. Buy a present for your older boy.

As part of your preparations in the third trimester, you should include a present for your first born the day you see him for the first time after giving birth. You will give this present in the name of the baby. You will give it with love, encouraging from the beginning unity and affection between them.

4. Getting home with a new baby.

Going back to normal is going to take a few days. First, you are exhausted from childbirth. Second,  returning to daily routines can be different, especially if you have a C-section. As soon as you can, try to implement a routine for the children and be consistent with it. A routine where everyone has their space, but that everyone feels loved as well. At this time of transition from 1 to 2 or more children, it will help you a lot if you prepare yourself for the postpartum period in advance. Things like having nutritional foods ready to eat, everything clean and organized, the nursery ready for the baby, and your boy’s room ready too, etc. is going to be a plus. All that preparation in advance will allow you to have more free time to spend with your boy and reconnect with him after the baby is born.

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5. Take one day at a time.

Who said that being a mother was easy because is not. For older siblings is always an abrupt change. And some kind of reaction is to be expected in the vast majority of the cases, for boys and girls. Find the balance of your life in the people around you. Do not be afraid to express your concerns, lean on someone, and try to breathe and think that everything will be fine.

6. Prioritize time with your boy.

In my case, I delegated many functions of the baby in the first months to my husband, because I felt that my oldest son needed more of me at that time. Eventually, after almost 2 months, and much talk with him, my oldest boy understood, that our lives would never be the same and that the baby required my love, attention, and care as much as he did. The little time you have left after caring for the baby, try to dedicate it to your oldest boy, prepare games and entertainment for him is an excellent idea to reconnect with him in your free time.

7. Teach empathy, by showing empathy.

Empathy, one of the most important characteristics of the human race. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. And, Let’s be real, your older boy’s life will change completely after the arrival of a baby. By showing empathy towards him, you will foster at the same time the development of his own ability to show empathy towards you, the baby and other people who are around that might need help or support.

8. Avoid overreacting.

This is typical of new mothers, myself included. You have a boy and a baby, and you are afraid that their time together will end in an unexpected disaster. I got it. But, let me tell you something, they must know each other and spend time together to create a bond. Accidents can and will occur at some point. However, before you overreact, breathe and think that you will create fear and separation, instead of union and love between them.

9. Allow active participation.

Including the older brother at the time of the baby’s bath, or feeding, or any other activity you are doing with the baby will be beneficial for everyone. Always talking to your older boy about the baby’s feelings, how much the baby needs you to be warm, clean and fed, will make the older child understand that your attention is not 100% on him for the right reasons. But even so, there is a space for him in the life of the family. And in the heart of a mom, dad, and especially the baby.

Foster siblings love: And finally, but certainly not least, foster siblings love is very important. I always tell my children 2 things that my grandmother taught me and these are:

• Family love, especially mothers love is never divided. Instead, it multiplies to all children equally. Reaffirm this to avoid jealousy between them.
• And the second thing is: God created the siblings with a very special purpose, and that purpose is: To give love, company, and support to each other (siblings) when the parents are already gone. Reaffirm this to foster a relationship of unity, affection, and love between them from the beginning.

Final thoughts about How to help your young boy to adjust to a new baby.

The great idea that I want you to take from this article is that. The transition for everyone in the family is hard, but for a child, it is much more difficult. Always expect some jealousy to happen. You must be patient, and take one day at a time. With a little love, consistency, and cunning you will be able to make your children love and respect each other as siblings while making the transition of the oldest boy more smooth and pleasant.

If you enjoy this post, please share it with other mommies. I see you in my next one.

Zadi, xo.